No one is immune to insecurity. We are all flawed in some way. The difference is the type of flaws we have and how we handle them. Some people obsess about even the smallest, and most unrealistic of flaws and these insecurities can be detrimental to our happiness and growth in life. If you are looking for strategies to feel comfortable in your own skin and for overcoming insecurity, here are 10 effective tips that will help.
Effective Tips For Overcoming Insecurity
1. Write it Out
Overcoming insecurity first requires you to get crystal clear on what exactly your insecurities are. We carry our shortcomings with us in our minds but never think to get them down in front of us. Spend some time reflecting on your insecurities, then write them all out. Write what your fears are surrounding these insecurities, the emotions you feel, and also how they have affected your life. Just by writing them down, you begin to see your insecurities from a different perspective. Seeing how they have been limiting you will perhaps motivate you to change. Reflecting on the emotional turmoil your insecurities have caused may get you say, “enough is enough.”
I can say from personal experience that by seeing my insecurities on paper and how they have influenced my life in a negative way has caused them to lose a little bit of their sting. That’s because after processing everything, I was done letting them get the best of me. Hopefully you will feel the same way after writing it all out.
2. Spend More Time Focusing On Your Positives
Stop putting your flaws center stage. Instead, give your strengths a crack at the leading role. We lose sight of our value and what we bring to the world when we constantly focus on what is wrong with us. You have to be proactive about focusing on your positive traits because it’s too easy to obsess over the things we consider wrong with us. One slip up, or bad day and our insecurities will be at the forefront of our thoughts again. If you do not already have a strengths list, create one today. Make a list of all of your positive traits and accomplishments. Carry this list with you and take deliberate action to review this list daily. Overcome insecurities by spending more time focusing on your positives.
3. Embrace Your Flaws
No one is perfect, and that includes you. For some reason we walk around with the sense that we are the only ones flawed in some way. Trust me, you are not special in that department. We all have imperfections. So, instead of beating yourself up about them, embrace them. Here are a couple ways to do that.
Evaluate Your Standards
Are your standards too high when it comes to your flaws? For example, is it really realistic to consider your body flawed if you are not a size 0 and 100 pounds like these so called supermodels? Or is it realistic to consider yourself unintelligent because you weren’t top in your class? Evaluate the standards you are using to judge your flaws. Most often your standards are highly skewed and even unreachable in some cases.
Look At the Positives Of Your Flaws
Is it possible that your flaws are actually connected to your strengths? In many cases they are. Take a hard look at your flaws and see if there is a silver lining. For instance, if you feel that you are too standoffish, consider that you are really just cautious and you respect yourself enough to be picky about letting others in to your inner circle. If you consider your sensitivity a flaw, realize that means you are compassionate and empathetic towards others and causes. If you are too prideful to ask for help, consider that means you are self-reliant and trust in your abilities.
These things may in fact be flaws, but they can still have a silver lining. Changing your perspective will go a long way in embracing your flaws.
“Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” – George R.R. Martin
4. Overcome Insecurities By Challenging Your Fears
Overcome insecurity by challenging your fears. I had so many insecurities growing up. I was petrified of speaking in front of people because I thought people would see me as unintelligent if I fumbled my words. Body image issues caused me to miss out on having fun with my family and friends at beaches and pools. I was super shy because I thought no one would like me and they would judge me. I let these insecurities dominate my life.
It wasn’t until I challenged these fears that I was able to overcome my insecurities. I joined drama club and went on to compete in acting competitions. I challenged my body image fears by putting it all out there at a Vegas pool. First time I ever did that, and no one laughed and no one cared. I started making it a point to speak up at meetings and introduce myself to new people. Once I challenged these fears and put myself out there, these insecurities melted away.
What can you do to challenge your fears?
5. Squash Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts and your inner critic are powerful. It doesn’t matter how unrealistic or absurd our thoughts are, we tend to believe them without question. It’s time to change this. When your negative voice speaks up and says things like, “you are not good enough,” “you are unattractive,” or “you are not smart enough”, shut it down by purposefully saying the opposite. Say things like, “I am good enough,” “I am beautiful,” “I am smart enough.” Start paying attention to the things you tell yourself and actively change the dialogue. Click here to learn how to stop being negative.
6. Focusing on Self-Improvement Helps In Overcoming Insecurity
If you are not satisfied with certain aspects of your life, especially if they add to your insecurities, then strive to improve. Focus on self-improvement and your insecurities will start fading away. This is because as you learn and grow as a person, you start seeing more of your accomplishments, positives, and potential rather than your flaws. Here are some ways to focus on self-improvement:
- Read a self-help book a month.
- Journal every day.
- Listen to self-help podcasts.
- Start an exercise routine.
7. Be Picky With Your Company
Our happiness, success, and how we feel about ourselves are directly related to the company that we keep. Overcoming insecurity will be very difficult if you spend your time around people who put you down and do not support you. Les Brown, one of my favorite motivational speakers, says spend your time with OQP (Only Quality People). If you find that there are some in your life that make you feel bad about yourself, commit to either cutting them out completely, or limit your time with them. Think about each person in your life right now. How do you feel when you know you are about to spend time with them? Are you anxious, or are you excited? How do you feel after spending time with them? Do you feel defeated and flawed, or do you feel motivated and encouraged? Get picky with the company you keep.
8. Do Things You Are Good At to Overcome Insecurities
How does it make you feel when you are engaged in something you are good at? It makes you feel good right? You feel on top of your game and confident in what you are doing. Overcome insecurity by doing more of the things that you are good at. Look at your strengths list and spend time each day doing something listed.
9. Stop Comparing Yourself
Nothing will generate insecurity more than comparing yourself to others. Don’t get me wrong, some comparison is okay. As long as you compare in a realistic way and use it to motivate and inspire you, it can be a good thing. Most of the time, however, comparing does more harm than good. If comparing makes you feel inadequate in some way, then it needs to stop. Just remember that you are on your own path. You have everything you need for your own journey. If you had what someone else has, you’d be miserable. Why? Because what they have is not meant for you.
You must also remember, that everyone has flaws. Even the person you are comparing yourself to. You probably have strengths that they envy as well. Spend your time focused on you, and no one else. Here are more strategies to stop comparing.
10. Keep Track of Your Successes
It amazes me how we forget about our successes as soon as they happen but we can remember a mistake or embarrassing moment in the 3rd grade. Just like focusing on our strengths, we must be proactive and keep track of our successes daily. Start keeping a success journal or just make a quick note every night before bed about your day’s successes. It doesn’t matter how small the success is, write it down. Review your journal often to remind yourself of how awesome and successful you are instead of how flawed you are.
Stop letting your insecurities hold you back. Write your insecurities down to gain clarity on how they have been affecting your life. Spend time focusing on your positives, learn to embrace your flaws and challenge your fears. Squash negative thoughts when they arise, focus on self-improvement and be extremely picky when choosing your company. You can also do things you are good at to overcome insecurities, stop comparing yourself, and keep track of your successes.
How have your insecurities held you back in life? How would your life change if you overcame them? Let us know in the comments below.