Comparing ourselves can be a good thing. Looking at someone that inspires us and motivates us is good for our own lives. Just like anything else, however, too much of it or the wrong perspective can be a bad thing and this is especially true when comparing. If comparing yourself to others leaves you feeling insecure, inadequate, or depressed about your own situation, then you need to learn how to stop comparing. Here are five strategies.
1.) Remember What It Is Costing You
When you catch yourself comparing, stop and think about what it is costing you. Is it costing you your peace of mind? Are you upset, sad, jealous or angry? Is it costing you your confidence and self-esteem? Are you down on yourself or feel inadequate because of it? Do you really want to pay the price of falling into a comparison trap? Learn how to stop comparing by remembering what it is costing you.
2.) Stop Comparing by Remembering Your Strengths
If you want to stop comparing, focus on what you bring to this world. You have strengths and talents that no other person has. Comparing has a way of making us forget that. If you know what your strengths are, great! If you don’t know what they are, then sit down and figure them out. Come up with at least ten. If you have trouble, ask close family and friends. I guarantee they will list off amazing qualities and strengths that you never realized you had. Once you have your list, hang it up and look at it every morning.
3. Be Grateful
When you practice being grateful, it keeps you focused and grounded on what you have in your life. No matter how far away you are from your goals and dreams, you realize that you have some amazing things in your life to be thankful for.
You have to be proactive when practicing gratitude. Otherwise, you’ll quickly forget the awesome things you have. One way to do this is by taking a moment every day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. You can also write these things down on paper or in a gratitude journal which is more powerful.
4.) Stop Comparing by Staying Positive
You may not be exactly where you want to be at the moment but you will get there. You have to keep a positive mind and stay optimistic. Keep your eye on the prize. Just like practicing gratitude, practicing positivity takes a proactive approach. A great way to stay positive is with positive affirmations.
Think for a moment of how you feel when you compare. How do you feel about your body, when you see a fit, sexy person on Instagram? What does your negative inner voice say? Maybe, “I’ll never look that good?” Or, “I’m fat and unattractive?” What goes through your mind when you see reality TV stars living in luxury for basically having no talent at all? “I can only be so lucky?” or, “I have to sell my soul to live like that?” Let these negative thoughts be inspiration for positive affirmations.
When you hear those negative voices, replace them over and over with words like, “I’m on my way to living healthy and fit.” Or be bold and say it as if it’s already true, “I am in the greatest shape of my life.” Say things like, “I am attracting all things that I desire,” or “I deserve everything that I dream and wish for.” Affirmations are a powerful tool to help you stay positive and stop comparing. Use them daily and use them often.
5.) Realize Comparing is Unrealistic and Unfair
You have to realize that when you compare, it’s usually unfair and unrealistic. You typically compare someone else’s best with your worst. It’s apples and oranges. Trust me, they may have things in their life that you want, but I bet there are many other things they have that you want no part of. You may also not see all of the failures the other person has experienced. People you look up to and admire typically aren’t born the way they are. They were in your shoes once before, they struggle like you are struggling. You’ll get there. Just keep things in perspective.
Comparing is not going to go away overnight. What you’ll find, however, is that as you work on these 5 strategies, over time, comparing won’t have the same negative effects that it once had. You’ll be more inspired and motivated rather than depressed and self-deprecating. Stop comparing by remembering what it’s costing you, remembering your strengths, being grateful, staying positive, and by realizing that comparing is usually unrealistic and unfair.
How has comparing served you up to this point? Let me know in the comments below.