My wife came to me the other day and asked me to write an article on how to stop being pushy. She is not pushy at all so I was a bit curious. She said she is just really afraid of being a nag and becoming pushy. Like her, many people may worry about being pushy in a relationship or in general. If you feel like her, or you really are pushy and you want to change, here are 3 easy steps to stop being pushy.
1 – Let Go Of Control
Being pushy usually means you have some control issues. You need to let this go. To do this you must admit you have some control issues, address any fears, and finally surrender. Letting go doesn’t mean you do not care about things, you are just letting other people handle it. It’s okay if you don’t have your hand in everything. If people mess up, they can learn from it. Let others make their own mistakes and make their own decisions.
2 – Stop Being Pushy by Respecting Boundaries
Just as you want others to respect your boundaries, you must respect others’ boundaries as well if you want to stop being pushy. When someone says “No” to you, take heed. To you, it may not be a big deal that they have another helping of your casserole, but to them, “No” means they are finished. If someone says they do not want to go somewhere, don’t try to persuade them. Stop being pushy by respecting others’ opinions and boundaries.
3 – Rephrase Your Words
Being pushy is also a matter of perspective. You may think you are giving great advice, but others may take it as being too pushy. If you truly have some valuable advice to give, and not just trying to assert your will, try changing your words. Instead of saying, “You should go to bed earlier tonight.” You can say, “Would you feel better if you went to bed earlier tonight?” Rephrasing your suggestion as a question gives them the power. If you want to stop being pushy, stay away from phrases like, “you should…,” “I think…”I would…” You may have good intentions, but you can easily be taken the wrong way.
No one likes a pushy person. If you want to stop being pushy, start by letting go of control, respecting boundaries, and rephrasing your words.
Have you ever been called pushy? Are you? Let me know in the comments below.