4 Tips To Be A Better Listener

Throughout my life I had some troubles being a good listener. I was either easily distracted or too interested in what I was going to say next. That’s a bad way to do things. Thank goodness I’m a bit wiser and more skilled at listening. I’m not perfect and I definitely have relapses, but when I remember some great tips I learned on how to be a better listener, I have some pretty good conversations. I’d like to share those tips with you here.

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1 – Stay Focused

When someone is talking to you, do your  best to zone out everything else except him or her. Don’t look at the television, don’t check your watch, and most certainly never look at your cellphone. These are all bad listening habits and should be eliminated immediately. Not doing so can cause rifts in your relationships, both personal and professional. Focus on the speaker’s eyes, on their lips, their tone, and their body language.

2 – Summarize Their Words

A great way to be a better listener and build stronger relationships is to summarize what the person just said. This shows that you are paying attention and it allows a deeper connection between you and the person speaking. Be very careful not to come off like you are mocking them. That can have the opposite effect. Say things like, “I understand that you felt upset at that moment.” “You work really hard and you think you are being taken advantage of.” Be sincere.

3 – Pretend You’ll Have To Teach What Was Said

When you are listening to someone, pretend that you will have to teach what they are saying to someone else later. This will force you to stay focused on what is being said. You’ll also be more inclined to ask questions and engage with them a little more.

4 – Never Interrupt

It’s hard to avoid not interrupting  when the other person is saying something you don’t agree with and especially when the moment is heated, but you must if you want to be a better listener. Think about how you would feel if the other person never let’s you finish speaking. It’s rude and it can cause even more conflict and frustration. Instead, let the other person finish speaking THEN think about what you need to say. Don’t plan a comeback while the other person is speaking. Instead follow the previous 3 tips. If you do this, you’ll more than likely get the same type of respect back.

If you want to be a better listener start with these tips. You’ll build stronger personal and professional relationships, resolve conflicts, and develop better communication skills.