It seems all the talk about raising good children focuses on setting rules and how to discipline properly. We have to remember that there is a flip side to this that is just as important. Praising your children carries with it many benefits. These include improving self-esteem, building confidence, and fostering a positive self-worth. Praising our kids is more important than it ever has been in this technological age where kids can be bullied and teased even in the safety of their own homes. Here are some tips on how to praise your children.
Be Descriptive
Descriptive praise has greater power on positively affecting your kids than general praise. For instance say, “I loved how hard you worked on that picture. You put a lot of attention and detail into it and it came out awesome,” instead of ” That’s really a great picture.”
Praise Around Weaknesses and Faults
When a child has a weakness such as struggling in a subject at school or makes a mistake such as breaking something, focus your praise around a behavioral change. “I’m proud that you are a hard worker and will bust your butt to improve your grade next quarter.” “I know you are going to do a great job cleaning up the mess that you made.” Kids will make mistakes, may get a less than stellar grade, and they will make messes. Show them you still care by encouraging them to improve around these weaknesses and faults.
Appreciation/Award Ceremonies
I can’t stress enough how important it is for your children to feel that they are approved. Giving descriptive praise and praising around weaknesses is a great first step but go further and recognize them in front of siblings, family and peers. If your child has done something outstanding print them out a certificate and present it to them in front of others. Say a few words as they stand next to you, hand it to them and give them a big hug and handshake. They may be embarrassed at first but trust me, it will be something that they will always remember and appreciate.
Praise Often
Think of your kid walking around with a praise bucket. As a parent you should do everything you can to keep it full. If you find that you criticize your kids more often than praising, they are going to find themselves with an empty bucket. Criticisms empty the bucket, praises fill the bucket. The emptier the bucket, the less trust, respect, and closeness they will have for you throughout their life. If you keep waiting until they do something outstanding to praise them, you may find that those little criticisms and discipline in-between may have been slowly emptying their praise bucket . Praise often, even for the smallest of things. For instance if they come home on time or if they ate all of their food. Praise your children if they make their bed. It only takes a second to show appreciation and gratitude and keep that bucket filled.
A child is never too old to be praised. Doing so builds self-esteem, confidence and great self-worth throughout all stages of life. Remember, praise often, praise around faults, recognize achievements in front of others, and be descriptive.
What are ways you praise your children?
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