Feelings of inadequacy plague us all. Whether we are faced with a new challenge, opportunity, or dealing with a setback, it’s easy to feel like you are lacking in some way. Whatever the reason, if you are not feeling good enough, the following strategies will help.
1. Stay Focused on Your Strengths When Not Feeling Good Enough
People spend too much time focused on their flaws and not enough time on their strengths. You should spend time every day, and especially when you are not feeling good enough, focused on the amazing things you bring to this world. Everyone has gifts and every one is unique. Do you know what your gifts are and what makes you unique? If not, perhaps it’s because you’ve spent too much time focused on your weaknesses. It’s time to change this. It’s time for you to get super focused on your positives.
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2. Avoid Comparing Yourself
Comparing is always unfair. This is because we end up comparing someone’s best with our worst. If someone is good at something that you struggle with, it’s easy to feel you are not good enough. If someone has what you dream of, it’s easy to feel inadequate. Just because you don’t have it now, or can’t do it now, doesn’t mean you do not deserve it.
No one has it together coming out of the gate. Remember you are running your own race. Focus on your path, take one step at a time and you will get there.
3. Do Something Nice For Others
When you are not feeling good enough, you should immediately look to give back. Doing nice things for others is a great way to feel good about who you are. I don’t know about you but when I can bring a smile to someone’s face, it makes me feel good about what I’ve done, and about who I am. It is an amazing feeling knowing that I can make a difference in someone’s day.
You do not have to do anything extravagant to make an impact. Small acts of kindness go a long way. Bring a cup of coffee to a coworker, give a sincere compliment, lend your ears. There are a ton of ways to do nice things for others that will help you feel good about being you.
4. Show Yourself Kindness When Not Feeling Good Enough
Avoid the tendency to beat yourself up when you aren’t feeling good enough. Instead, be your own best friend. Give yourself a little grace when you make a mistake and encourage yourself if a challenge seems too difficult. What would you tell a friend who isn’t feeling good enough? You’d probably point out all of their strengths and remind them of how awesome they are. Treat yourself the same way.
5. Constantly Learn and Improve
Consistently learning and improving your skills is an excellent way to feel great about being you. The more you learn and improve, the more confident you will become. I spent two decades in Information Technology. Much like life, if you aren’t learning new skills in this industry, you will get left behind quickly. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be more confident in how I feel about myself?” Once you answer that question, then work on it. Aim to learn something new each week.
Another benefit of consistently learning new things and working on yourself is that when things do arise where you lack the necessary skills or information, you know you can learn them. You won’t stay stuck feeling inadequate because you know that you learned something new before and you can do it again.
6. Spend Time with Supportive People When You Are Not Feeling Good Enough
When you have a hard time believing in yourself, surround yourself with people who do. Supportive people will lift you up when you feel down and keep you from going down a self-deprecating path. They will remind you of how valuable you are and point out all of the things that are going right for you.
On the flip side, avoid people who are not supportive. If there are people in your life who make you feel less than, either cut them off completely or limit the amount of time you spend with them.
7. Change The Way You Talk to Yourself
Avoid talking down to yourself when you feel you are not good enough. Instead of saying things like, “I’m not smart enough,” or “I’m not attractive enough,” say things like “I can learn this,” and “I have a lot to offer.” Words are powerful. The more you tell yourself you suck, the more you will feel like you suck. Instead hype yourself up. Even if you do not truly believe in what you are saying, positive reinforcement will begin to change your thinking.
If you have trouble finding positive things to say about yourself here are some powerful positive words that will inspire you.
Whether it is in your relationship, work, school, or after a mistake or setback, there will be places and moments when we don’t feel good enough. When you feel this way, make sure you stay focused on your strengths, avoid comparing yourself, and do something nice for others. You can also show yourself kindness, constantly learn and improve, spend time with supportive people, and change the way you talk to yourself.
What things or people make you feel like you are not good enough? Let me know in the comments.