5 Habits That Are Killing Your Confidence

If you struggle with confidence and self-esteem then you most likely have habits that are holding you back. Building confidence takes work and effort. So, it is important to remember that what you should do to improve confidence is no more important than what you should not do. Here are 5 things that you should not do because chances are high they are killing your confidence.

“Anything is possible once you believe you are worthy of achieving it.” – Jason Pockrandt

1. Putting Yourself Down is Killing Your Confidence

Constantly putting yourself down will prevent you from building confidence. Words and thoughts have power. Thinking or saying things to yourself like, “I’ll never be good enough,” or “I’m not smart enough,” or “I can’t do this,” is killing your confidence. You will never feel good enough or feel smart enough if you cannot get this type of negative self talk in check.

A Better Habit

A better habit to adopt is to talk yourself up instead of down. Get into the habit of saying positive confidence building affirmations. Even if you do not believe them, say these types of affirmations consistently and in time you will begin to believe. Here are some examples:

• “I am naturally confident in all that I do.”
• “I am bold and outgoing.”
• “Everything I need to succeed is within me.”
• “I have faith in my skills and abilities.”

2. Comparing Yourself To Others

Comparing yourself to others isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be a great tool to improve yourself and your circumstances. If you use others as a source of inspiration and motivation, then comparing is a good thing. On the other hand, if comparing makes you feel less than, unworthy, or inadequate, it is unhealthy and killing your confidence.

A Better Habit

A better habit and an effective strategy to stop comparing yourself to others is to practice gratitude. Stay focused on what you do have going for you instead of what you lack. When you make gratitude a daily habit, you’ll realize that even though you may have a long way to go in reaching your goals, you still have some amazing things to be thankful for.

3. Living an Unhealthy Lifestyle

When we do things in life that make us feel bad inside, then it will wreak havoc on our confidence. This can be just about anything but most people struggle with things like unhealthy eating, smoking, drugs, and excessive drinking. After a short “feel good” period, these types of things can make us look and feel bad, which can affect our self-confidence.

A Better Habit

Get your bad habits under control and develop better habits. Eat healthier, exercise, participate in a support group, or stop smoking for example. Whatever you struggle with, make an effort to find information or seek help to live a healthier lifestyle.

4. Not Standing Up For Yourself is Killing Your Confidence

Confidence is hard to come by if others are constantly taking advantage of you. Whether it be at work, in your relationships, or wherever, when others do not respect you or your boundaries it’s hard for you to respect them. Other’s constant lack of regard for your time and energy is slowly killing your confidence.

A Better Habit

Practice standing up for yourself and being assertive every day. Standing up for yourself isn’t easy so taking baby steps is a good strategy to begin. What one small thing can you say “no” to? What one small boundary can you set that you will not have trouble keeping? As you get used to flexing your assertiveness muscles and holding the line, it will become easier over time.

5. Staying in Your Comfort Zone

The saying, “nothing ever good comes out of your comfort zone,” is exactly right. You will never grow and build confidence if you hide from risks and refrain from putting yourself out there. Staying where it is safe and comfortable is killing your confidence.

A Better Habit

Get into the habit of putting yourself out there. Do scary things that you normally wouldn’t do. Perhaps you could give your two cents at your work’s morning meeting. Maybe you could join a new club or start a hobby. The key is just to get yourself out there and do something new and adventurous. The more you push yourself out of your comfort zone, the more confident you will become.

Conclusion

Don’t let these habits sabotage your confidence building efforts. Stop putting yourself down, comparing yourself, and living an unhealthy lifestyle. Not standing up for yourself and staying in your comfort zone are also things you should avoid. These habits are killing your confidence so do whatever it takes to eliminate them.

What confidence sabotaging habits affect you the most? Let me know in the comments below.